The Humboldt Chronic-WHAT-les

The following is an installment from a larger body of writing about my time spent enrolled at Humboldt State in Humboldt County. Big Dubb Diesel will be contributing with writings reflecting back on his formative years spent in Santa Barbara.
Enjoy!

The beginning of the end…of fun: December 2006

50. Which of the following statements about phospholipid bi-layers is true?
A. Any liquid material can pass through the phospholipid bi-layer.
B. A phospholipids’ hydrophobic tail is attracted to water.
C. The outer ring of a cell membrane is known as a phospholipid bi-layer.
D. A phospholipid bi-layer is not absolutely essential for life.

I circled “C” and laid my pencil down on my 881-E Scantron form; neatly filled out in number 2 Pencil with 50 answers to 50 questions I had studied day and night for the last two weeks. And now none of that mattered, because now I was a college graduate.

Nine semesters, 1,640 days, four and a half years. That’s how long it took for me to become an adult; that’s how long I was allowed to bask in the glory and metaphorical sunshine of the college life. I say metaphorical sunshine because I went to school at Humboldt State University.

Beyond the Redwood curtain, at the tip of Northern California in a county where sunshine is not allowed but marijuana is welcomed. All things considered I am glad I chose Humboldt State, it offered me the opportunity to learn at my own pace while stoned in class, and focus on harnessing the often overlooked thrills of a collegiate career, like winning an intramural championship or going undefeated on the beer pong table.

So it was with more than a twinge of grief that I waded through the freshman in my row and walked to the front of the lecture hall to turn in my Intro to Biology for Non-Science majors final. It wasn’t just a 4-page assessment of my ability to regurgitate information, I’ve forked over plenty of those; it was affirmation that my days of fun were coming to an end.

The final chapter from my Humboldt State stay was the least productive from an educational stance but most productive from a “This is Awesome” stance. I manipulated my schedule so I had three-day weekends; I drank whenever I damn well pleased because I’m a grown ass man and that’s what grown ass men do. I played pick-up and organized basketball like it was my major, and when my roommate B-Rad and I weren’t putting up jumpers in the East Gym we worked out and lifted weights. Did I mention I was in the best shape of my life? Whoever said, “Change is good.” Fuck you.

More to come...